All you people care about is poop.

You see that title sentence? Let's dissect it.

"All you people" must be a reference to anyone who reads the sentence and is considered a "person," most likely meaning a human being. It also does not count Neil, who wrote the sentence.

"care about," i.e. like, enjoy, are concerned with

"is," present tense.

"poop."

Does this mean that all the things you care about are crap? Or that the only thing you care about is crap? And is it the literal meaning of "poop," as in "poop"? Or "poop" as in "bullshit"?

Only time and scholars will tell.

Stuck between a rock and my fanbase

It's really nice having fans and everything, but you guys are way demanding. I don't mean that in a bad way. Fans are the lifeblood of my life, and you know that's true from the messages I write with every autograph--and none of that simple "thanks" crap either, I mean detailed letters. You know. Anyway, all's I'm saying is, you guys need to try and understand the real ME, okay? I'm not just the famed blogger whose exploits titillate fans worldwide. I'm also just plain Neil, a simple soul who enjoys sandwiches and sauces. I'm not saying I'll go on a break. God knows I need this. I'm just warning you that this might be a new leaf I've turned. Maybe from now on, my blog will be more introspective. I wrote a poem today. Maybe, when I feel up to it, I'll show you.

Someone should get on this right away

Is there a Society For People Who Hate Retarded People? How much is the membership cost? I'm just wondering.