Yeah man

Birthday's coming up. I TOTALLY MIGHT DRINK SOMETHING.

I am so pomo

This whole blog is so greatly postmodern, if anyone needs to write an essay for school on postmodernism they could use my blog as an example. No joke. I even have enemies at this point, that just shows how important I am to the Western literary canon.

Is there sunshine when I'm gone?

Hey jerks, I see you've noticed that I'm rapidly rising in fame. I know, I know, it's not exactly unexpected, but who knew I would be so well-known so fast? I'll be doing ed's for the NYTimes within the month, I'd bet my life on it. Or my dog's life, or something.

I washed a polar bear with my sheets, now he smells like springtime.

I'm just writing here to warn everybody that when I turn into a vampire, I won't be able to tell anyone that I'm gone, for fear of violating the masquerade. So if you ever notice my inexplicable absence, know that calling the police will do no good - I am no missing person, I have joined the ranks of the undead. So no need to worry about me. And if you ever see me sometime, out for a night on the town, pretend you didn't or I'll eat you.

I would like to make a new post

Just because I haven't changed anything from the basic blog template does not make me an unworthy human being you know.

Just because I leave font size, color, and type up to the will of the masses does not make me a preteen. Nor does it make me over 45. I am fine the way I am. I just created this earlier today, okay? God.

And shut up, just because I don't have a picture on my profile does not mean that I just can't figure out how. ... Well, that one I'm not sure about. All I know is that I'd never, EVER look under the basic FAQ to figure it out, I am far too scene for that.

And if I did look at the basic FAQ, I'd understand the shit out of it, okay? Serious.

To give your brain a picture. A really old picture.

Neil Awesome, looking awesome.

I.i.1

LISTEN ALL OF YOU BIG TIME JERKFACES. I have a blog now. Soon, I will be posting things in it. Not your whiny, drunken, horomonal babble -- that's LiveJournal's cornered market. Who knows what it will be? ...I mean, other than me. Because I know. IT'S MY BLOG, OKAY? JESUS. YOU PEOPLE. YELLING ALL THE TIME. CAN'T YOU EVER JUST CALM DOWN AND BE HAPPY? THANK YOU.